Merry Christmas

The headline says most of it. Sorry posting has been non existent for a while. I've managed to get a stomach bug just at the time of year where it most looks like I'm skiving from work. Blech.

I'll be trying to eat my Christmas lunch without worrying that it'll cause a mad dash to the loo, shortly. At the in-laws, which will add to the fun by making the experience extra weird.

Anyway - Merry Christmas eveerybody!

When there's no more room in Hell, the immigration scare story will walk the earth

With zombies, it's the sheer number that's scary
I've said said it before, no matter how many of these buggers you shoot in the head, they just keep on coming. I've just dispatched one stumbling, empty eyed corpse only to turn around and see another three or four behind me. Gah!

Smellyface Christmas, Everybody!

Ah, Smellyface (for those of you who have been scratching their heads about who Smellyface is, see here). Just a day after I looked at how a PC Brigade organisation supposedly responsible for banning Christmas actually advertised Christmas events on its website, one of which involving things that Smellyface has claimed have been banned by the PC Brigade, he comes out with a column with a lovely little bit about how Christmas is being banned. Hurrah!

Merry WinterLight

Hello people. Remember this?
Christmas is axed in Oxford

Council leaders in Oxford have decided to ban the word Christmas from this year's festive celebrations to make them more 'inclusive'.

Here's how the ban is enforced on Oxford City Council website (below the jump):

Urgent weekend request

***UPDATE*** The first comments are in. I want at least double figures for this baby. Come on!

You'll find out why
Inspired by (or shamelessly merging a couple of recent ideas from, you decide) Anton over at Enemies of Reason, I am breaking with the remit of this blog to put out an urgent weekend request to my lovely readers. I'll also be sharing a detail about myself that I probably shouldn't. Hurrah! Here goes.

Who rioted in Aylesbury? Muslims, Asians, or no one group in particular?

A riot? During Eid? Must be Muslims then.
Remember this? The Sun reported on how nasty Muslims had hounded brave soldiers out of their new home in Windsor, except it turned out they weren't Muslims. How about this? A disturbance in Windsor that ended up with a dairy owned by Muslims being firebombed was blamed by some papers (although not the Sun, curiously) as being the fault of the Muslims who had been firebombed?

Here comes the non-gender specific parent of Winterval!

That's it! I must download the whole thing NOW! And then send this guy around to every editor on Fleet Street
Ho ho ho, children! Merry Winterval, you naughty motherf-!

The mother of all bad headlines

This makes me angry
There's this scene, in 'Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrells', where a big, scary looking geezer forces some poor sap's head in a drum full of water. 'Areyougunnapay?' he growls, as he pulls his gasping victim up out of the water, 'Areyougunnafahkinpay?' Before the guy even manages to get a full breath, let alone answer, his head is thrust back in as his arms flail uselessly about.

You couldn't make it up

Some heartless cartoon poking fun at the concept of Eastern Euopeans being prostitutes
Sorry Smellyface, I nicked your rubbish catchprase.

Does not suing someone mean you're guilty?

Moronic bleating from old smellyface in today's Mail in 'If I'm not here on Friday, you'll know I've been nicked'. Twat.

I'm staying out of the whole Damian Green thing, other than commenting on how the coverage of it in the press is making me want to eat my own head (ooh - they used the word 'grooming', which only has one meaning EVAR) because just like everyone else, I don't really know what happened.

Get your pitchforks and torches - we're off to the BBC

***UPDATE*** Bugger. I've only just thought of the punning possibilities of the word 'Torchwood' in this post. I really need to sharpen up.

What's the Mail complaining about here? That the BBC didn't broadcast pictures of Barrowman's willy?