I could make it up!

Professional peehole Richard Littlejohn has emitted another teaspoonful of indignation from his Florida mansion in 'The vision of Britain: Who would want to live here?'

And no, 'here' doesn't mean Florida, bizarrely. This week involves Littlejohn looking through the glossary at the back of 'Life in the UK: A Journey to Citizenship 2007' and moaning about what isn't in it. The glossary, that is. He hasn't bothered to read the thing, of course. One of his big gripes is this:

You might have thought that a publication about Britain which bothered to explain that a baron was a minor member of the aristocracy and that a chieftain was a Scottish clan ruler might have found room for the Queen.

He's right, you know. You might have thought that. Especially if you looked under 'M' for 'Monarch' and bloody saw it there.

I found that out in a thirty second scan of the glossary in Waterstone's. Probably about the same length of time it took Littlejohn to decide to pretend it wasn't there.