Crime is the disease...the Daily Express is not the cure

A couple of posts ago, I wrote a smart-alecky series of jibes at the 'you can't even defend yourselves in your own home' tabloid right winger types who all seem to operate under the misconception that they'd be really, really badass and totally wouldn't noisily do a poo in their pyjamas and cry if anyone smashed their way into their house in the night.

In it, I said this:
Here's the thing. The reason people who kill or seriously injure burglars or robbers get arrested has precisely bugger all to do with loving the baddies and hating the goodies or PC Gawn Mad...Police arrest people because they need to find out what happened and the person holding the knife might not be telling the truth. 
This morning, the Daily Express front page bellowed 'HERO DAD GUNS DOWN BURGLAR! Fury as he's arrested for defending his home', except that's not the front page you'll see represented on their website right now.

That might have something to do with this:
Villagers have spoken of their shock after detectives investigating the shooting of a suspected burglar found a "well-organised and large-scale" cannabis farm during forensic searches.
Ah. So maybe not a hero dad defending his home then.  Perhaps the case was more complicated than it appeared at first, and police only found out after arresting the 'HERO DAD' and carrying out searches. Who could have guessed?

Hilariously, 'HERO DAD GUNS DOWN BURGLAR' is still available on the Express website right now (although it might end up disappearing). It gets bonus blowhard points for mentioning Tony Martin and revealing in the second paragraph that the 'BURGLAR' wasn't in fact a burglar, but someone trying to break into a car outside the 'HERO DAD'S' house.

We're only a quarter of the way through the month, and I'm already spoiled for choice for the first anniversay of the 5cc tabloid bullshit of the month award.  The amount of boneheaded idiocy has been turned right up to eleven this October.


Anonymous said...

fucking hell, I've just read that story, I had no idea the Express house-style is so terrible? Sounds like something from The Onion.

Chris said...

The press may as well stop trying to win the award this month. This story is head and shoulders better/worse than anything else that they could write. To beat this it would take someone accusing Karl Marx of rising from the grave to become the new leader of the BBC.

Anonymous said...

Never had The Daily Express down as a Stoners newspaper, but there you go...

Smogo said...

I love the replacement headline they've cobbled together for the website image:


"Now for diet"?!

Unknown said...

The media may as well quit trying to win the prize this 30 days. This tale is go and back better/worse than anything else that they could create. To defeat this it would take someone blaming Karl Marx of increasing from the burial plot to become the new innovator of the BBC.
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Guy said...

The story is still there on the Express website...

...unbelievable, you couldn't make it up etc