BNP in the Telegraph

Just after the London elections, I wondered about how dangerous it would be to give the BNP a platform. They might well be a bunch of bozos now, I thought, but what would happen if they got some decent PR?

Richard Barnbrook now has his own blog on the Daily Telegraph website, and thankfully those days look to be a long, long way off. The guy not only doesn't realise that it probably isn't a good idea to have a Hitleresque hairstyle and wear the same colour suit as the Fuhrer's uniform if you're trying to convince people that your party's not actually a bunch of closeted Neo-Nazis - he's stupid enough to title one of his blog posts 'Blame the immigrants' as well. Yeah, that'll convince people you're not a bunch of bigots. Tool.

The three posts so far are comedy gold, they really are. He opens with 'Tombstone Politics', where he reveals his sensible, caring, non-fascist side by saying:
I have no time for these liberals. I despise them.....not for their person, but for their values....for everything that they believe in, although I am not so sure that they even believe it. I am talking about all these dirty politicians and journalists who sit in their homes smoking their drugs and telling themselves they have made Britain better. Well its not. Its a cess-pit and its the young people who have to swim in its filth.

Not on her swivelly-eyedest day could Melanie Phillips come up with that! It's like every crazyloon Daily Express commenter turned up to 11.

This is what liberalism means to our fearless Lionheart:
This is liberalism......these are the great values of the left.........they smoke drugs and your children get slaughtered in the streets. It makes me sick.

Or at least it is in this post. A few hours later, in 'Blame the Immigrants' (I'm not making it up - he really headlined a post that) liberalism means this:
Liberalism to me, means being free from knife and gun attacks.

Eh? Isn't that the exact bloody opposite? Does that make him sick too? You never know, since we're not talking about rationality here. We're talking about dribbly weirdness.

Back to 'Tombstone Politics'and we learn:
They can't even bring themselves to call me Richard. Everyone is on 1st name terms except me. For me it is Mr Barnbrook like they are talking to their Bank Manger or the man in charge

Or like if they're a care assistant talking to the shouty drunk man swinging a plastic bag:
and thats just it....I am the man in charge....because I get out into the street and meet real people.

Nope. You're not the man in charge. That would be Boris Johnson. You're the bloke who's lucky to be in charge of his own stapler. And count your blessings. 'Mr Barnbrook'is better than 'Mr Bell End', which is what I'd end up calling you.

The logic behind 'Blame the Immigrants' is just as dribbly. We're supposed to blame 'the immigrants' for a murder that it seems was carried out by someone who isn't an immigrant. Well done, lumpy. Give yourself a lolly.

This is our city and we are going to take it back. We are going to take all the weapons of [sic] the streets even if that means sending in the Army to do it.
That'll work. The army on the streets will reduce the number of weapons. Not raise them with machine guns and tanks and whatnot. They'll take the knives from the thugs. That'll show 'em! It's not as if they'll be able to get another one by looking in any kitchen drawer in any house.

This is the article that best reveals the true face of the BNP. In it, Barnbrook calls for sending the army in to clean up the streets, for the police to disobey Her Majesty's Government and become completely unaccountable, and:
If immigrants don't like it then they know where the airport is.

Plus, it's completely hat-stand.

Tragically, the post ends with this stirring call to action:
I have invited all of the young people there to come down to City Hall this Tuesday for 9:30 in the morning. This knife crime has to be stopped. If I have to bring a 100 young people into Boris's office then that is what I will do.

A sum total of none young people turned up to march on Boris's office. Shame, that.

His final effort 'Lily Allen and the BNP'is just mad. Apparently:
Much of it [the news] is about the knife attack and the ridiculous comments by the Children Tsar Sir Al Aynsley-Green.

According to this ridiculous lunatic, the stop-and-search powers being belatedly used by the police to curb such attacks might further antagonise young people. Said Sir Al: 'Anything that perpetuates the view that children are the troublemakers is a dangerous development.'

The best thing he could do is shut his mouth. I wonder if these liberals just crave attention so much that they say the most outrageous statements incase they are in danger of becoming insignificant and boring.

Yeah, what sort of ridiculous loony would say you shouldn't demonise children after a 21 year old man apparently murders someone. (Okay, nobody's been convicted yet. It could have been a tooled up 8 year old. I'll grant you that.)

Barnbrook's a bit worked up that Lily Allen thinks:
that press photographers are male, don't own houses at the age of 23, like her, and remind her of the BNP. So she says in her blog.

Except she doesn't. She talks about male journalists writing stories about her trying to get back at her ex not owning their own house. It's only the photographers she said wouldn't look out of place at a BNP meeting. Man, they must look weird, on the evidence of this blog.

The rest is about him falling for a Daily Mail elf n safety gorn mad story, which appears to be a bunch of rubbish, and him saying he's going to be an MP. How will he manage that at the same time as being in charge of the London Assembly? Busy man, Mr Barnbrook.

Really, on the evidence of this blog we have nothing to worry about by allowing the BNP space to rant their weirdness at us. If anything, this blog is worth bookmarking for the laughs. Sure, that makes me feel guilty, like a Victorian touring loony-bins for entertainment, but I can't help it. "Of course safety has nothing to do with this. It is all just state-sponsored hate-mongers abusing their power because they like to cause misery." I defy anyone not to laugh at that.

Seriously - if he's allowed to carry on with it after ruining all the good work the BNP have done in pretending not to be racist by titling a post 'Blame the Immigrants' I'll be dipping in for a laugh fix every day. I would though, because I'm a dirty liberal who likes dirty politics and smokes drugs and your children get slaughtered in the streets. There's only one answer. Demonise the children! The bastards!

And now I will give myself a reward for writing a whole post about the BNP without using the term 'shovel-headed cunt'.


Sim-O said...

and he also proclaims he's going to blog everyday, sometimes more.
I think he got bored two days later, or used up all the words he knows cos he has bothered since.

Five Chinese Crackers said...

I have a sneaking suspicion he's been told to shut the eff up by his party after making such a massive prat of himself.

It's almost a pity, really.

Phil BC said...

Barnbrook is a total dickhead, and long may he continue to remain so!

merrick said...

Whilst I'm grateful for your bringing this comedy genius to my attention, and I agree that usually the best policy with these nobbers is to let them speak - they make far bigger idiots of themselves than anything we say could ever do - the problem is that when they get elected they get funds.

Especially, if they get European Parliament seats they get serious public loot. So, it's important to mobilise the anti-BNP vote on June 4th.

Oh, and whilst lol is so overused that I actually don't understand the meaning any more, I did genuinely laugh out loud at the 'give yourself a lolly' line.

anything we could say